Weekend Picks and other assortments of existential thought

Whoa, flag on the play for Erratic Blogging. I suck at the internet.
Sorry Jared. Besides, you're the only one reading this very blahhhhhh blog.

ANYHOO, here are my weekend picks. If you're a gamblin' man, take these to the bank.

OSU v. Texas Tech:

It's in Lubbock. Crabtree is the best all around college football player in the universe, and Harrell is hot for the Heisman. But a ginormously emotional win over formerly #1 Texas last week in one of the best college football games EVER (yup, you should feel bad for missing this game, it was freakin epically epic) means the inevitable following week "let-down" game against a sneakily well-rounded Cowboy team. Happens all the time. Happens tomorrow. OSU 38 - TT 34.

Tulsa v. Bye Week

TU's defense is so shoddy it even gives up points to Bye Week. Tulsa 55 - Bye Week 27 (side note: since TU is off tomorrow it might actually be a productive Saturday around my house. Actually, no. It won't be. I'll find other games to watch. Let's move on.)

Alabama v. LSU

Ahh, the Saban Bowl. Nick Satan, I mean, Saban returns to LSU for the first time since ditching Baton Rouge to prove to the world how crappy of an NFL coach he could be in Miami. Well done, Nick Satan, I mean, Saban. Although, you got to hand it to him. Dude can coach in college. Year 2 in Alabama and they are #1. Not bad. But then again he is Satan (coincidentally, Alabama's colors are red . . .). But it's hard for even Satan to win in Baton Rouge. That stadium is so loud it probably shakes dust from the ceiling in Hell. LSU 23 - Alabama 13

USC v. Cal

Dude, when did the Pac-10 become the Suck-10? Seriously, how embarrasing for me after I was such a Pac-10 apologist out here in Big-12 country. Whoops. This league stinks this year. USC head coach Pete Carroll rails against the BCS because the Trojans drop in the rankings despite killing Washington 56-0. Guess what Petey? Washington would probably lose to USC if the Trojans padded the women's lacrosse team up and fielded em. THEY SUCK and you get punished for even playing them. Seriously, USC should've sent the practice squad, and after still beating them, USC would have had a compelling argument: We're so deep on the roster that the walk-on scrubs on the practice team beat the Huskies!

By the way, the state of football in the state of Washington is so bad it's morbidly funny. Washington and Washington State are easily two of the worst teams in all of D-1 (they are a combined 1-16. I am not making this up). And then to top it off the Seahawks suck too! This is a new state-wide level of sucktitude. State of Washington: you are now on notice that while you do have that cool space needle thingy and did give us grunge music, your football privileges have hereby been REVOKED! USC 38 - Cal 17

BYU v. San Diego St.

BYU-- or otherwise known as the-only-D1-team-in-the-nation-starting-white-cornerbacks-- sure likes to live dangerous. After barely beating New Mexico (a team that Tulsa, by the way, beat 56-14) and needing a last second TD against lowly Colorado State, the Cougars keep on winning, but it just feels like the rug is out to be pulled out anytime. Oh wait. It already was . . . at TCU. Whoops. In other news, did you know that QB Max Hall and Tight End Dennis Pitta are brothers-in-law? Dude, only at BYU (and if you went there you know what I'm implying). BYU 49 - San Diego State 14

Louisville v. Pitt

You never should have left Tulsa, Kragthorpe. Nuff said. Pitt rolls in this one. Pitt 28 - Louisville 13

Other news and notes:

• The best superhero movie of 2008 was not the Dark Knight. It was Iron Man. Watch it and be entertained. Loooved it.
  
• Eastern Oklahoma is BEAUTIFUL in Autumn. Seriously, like on a level with Connecticut. Believe it. I'm living it.
  
• There are at least 10 people spending this weekend in Tulsa County Jail because of me. Oh yeah. My job is sweet.